Wednesday, December 3, 2008

This could be a coded message

This could be a coded message:

"I removed 8 organically-grown carrots from the fridge. Although they had been purchased quite recently, they were somewhat limp which my colleauge observed. She said that I possibly had not stored them correctly. I said that I had put them in the vegetable crisper. What else was I to do? She said that her grandmother had stored them point down in sand. But that was because she had to make them last the whole winter. Where was that, I asked. Europe, she said. After she left I coarsely peeled the 8 carrots and then ate them with spring onion dip. When the carrots ran out, I spooned the remains of the dip ("cream cheese, shallots, sour cream, onion, garlic, lemon juice [etc]") into my mouth with a tea spoon. It was initially delicious but ultimately cloying."

This could have been a coded message.

But it wasn't. In the words of John Berryman, this did actual happen.

It's also remarkable that the label says "spring onion dip" but that the principal ingredient is "shallots."

If it had been a coded message I expected it would have said: "Go on my signal. And wear cotton."

5 comments:

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

The shallot/spring-onion conundrum has perplexed me for many a year. Is it equivalent to canteloupe/rockmelon? Eggplant/aubergine? Zucchini/corgette?

Jo said...

Jeez, Nick.
Broaden your snack repertoire, man.

hazelblackberry said...

So it really did happen.

But in the words of Playboy was it a case of, "this really did happen to a friend of mine"?

Nick Crumbedprawn said...

Well, I didn't describe next what happened with the two dental hygienists and the cream cheese (for which cheese is the principal ingredient apparently. The principal ingredient of a dental hygienest is water I beleive. About 75%)

Not Drowning Mother said...

Limp carrots? That's "Carry On" comedy gold.