On the plane down to Sydney, the young woman next to me was writing out a long Valentine's Day message. It began: 'Dear Mum...'. Has it come to this? Are we now expected to write Valentine's Day cards to our parents?
"Dear Dad, I know we share a lot in the way of genetic material and that neither of us are gay but you're really becoming distinguished as you get older (those greying temples, mmm!) If I were an older gay man, I would totally go for you. Love, your son."
Should we move on to other festive occasions?
"Dear Mum and Dad. I know we all share republican tendencies but can we just take a moment to wish the Queen 'Happy Birthday'? Yours with affection etc"
I wonder what gift my sister will get me to celebrate Armistice Day!
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Dear Nick Crumbedprawn,
You left a comment on my blog once and yet, I notice you have been impertinent enough not to send me a Valentine's Day card this year. After everything we've shared, after everything that we've gone through together!
Yours, most offendedly
The Not Drowning Mother.
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